


Never Lost A Sparrow Yet

by OrionRedStar



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006), Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Genre: Elizabeth Swann - Freeform, F/M, Jack Sparrow - Freeform, POTC - Freeform, Sexual Humor, birth of baby, pirates of the caribbean - Freeform, sparrabeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 07:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6557137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionRedStar/pseuds/OrionRedStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Author: OrionRedStar<br/>Story: Never Lost A Sparrow Yet<br/>Genre: Humor<br/>Pairing; Jack Sparrow / Elizabeth Swann<br/>Type: M-F<br/>Other Characters: Teague, Barbossa, Gibbs<br/>Time Frame: After World’s End<br/>Rating: PG - Teen<br/>Story Summary: Short one chapter story of Jack and Lizzie have a baby, Jack loses his cool entirely and cannot get it together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Lost A Sparrow Yet

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a humor filled idea of taking the funny and neurotic side of Jack Sparrow's characteristics and tossing him into the fray of handling the night of Elizabeth Swann, who is going into labor with the birth of their child. Nothing too explicit sexually, but some baby-birth facts of life stuff presented in story, but mild and written within a humorous format.

NEVER LOST A SPARROW YET

Jack wasn’t certain if it was Elizabeth’s soft treble voice stating his name rather inaudibly, or the vast amount of wetness that suddenly appeared within the space between them that totally soaked the middle of the bed. Jack was startled awake, fumbling to see where he was. Realizing he and Elizabeth were at Shipwreck Cove by the surrounding décor, that pretty much had not been a major factor for the disruption. However, Jack Sparrow was woken with an abrupt and hasty start. It was still quite dark out and it only felt as if he’d been asleep a short time. That was indeed the case. After a very early dinner, and because of Elizabeth complaining that she felt an odd ‘cramping’ in her legs, they had gone off to bed on the early side. Jack glanced at the bottle of rum he had placed on the side of his bed, tried to focus on it, and observed the same amount was still within. Obviously it could not have been there for long since the level had not altered. Feeling the bed shift, Jack’s thoughts immediately turned to Elizabeth. Glancing casually over his shoulder, he saw her sitting on the side of the mattress, appearing somewhat stoic as she stared at the door. Voice laden with heaviness, Jack finally grumbled,

“Oh…what ‘ _tis_ it–Lizzie?”

Jack’s focus was on the back of Elizabeth’s head, then suddenly she appeared to lean over…doubled over, in fact bent over so far she was nearly spilling over the opposite side of the bed. When his focus became more clear, Jack could see that Elizabeth’s face was as red as a beet, evidently in the throes of a labor pain and unable to respond to him.

“ _Bloody hell_ …..”

Jack’s obsidian black orbs widened to their fullest as he catapulted himself out of the bed, virtually leaping over Elizabeth’s body in the daring maneuver. Landing on the floor and placed in front of her, his black eyes were scanning the scenario before him. Although they had discussed this moment already and had reviewed what he in particular was to do when this special time arrived, Jack was totally alarmed and knew in his feeble, rum soaked mind that he had to do something important when this happened―but at the moment the task and the amount of rum he consumed only hours ago, the plan had eluded his pickled mind entirely. Standing there with each arm out stretched as if they were makeshift wings, Jack parlayed his reeling body to remain stationery as he spoke aloud, as if to configure his next maneuver and state it out loud so that Elizabeth could say yay or nay with approval or no to provided a hint.

“Right…this is _it_ then, ‘tisn’t it?”

Jack’s voice was filled with excitement, fear and incredible trepidation. On that note, Elizabeth drew in a sharp breath and was holding it along with her rotund belly, starting to pant. A bold, fresh jolt of fear surged within Jack as he then stated out loud, trying to gain some foresight here,

“Now…I’m mos’ definitely s’posed t’ do _somethin’_ …..right?” Jack said hedging his next action.

A panting Elizabeth glared up at Jack; her bright red face screwed up in pain, was presently holding back a scream, not believing Jack was this daft. With eyes half shut and groaning, all Elizabeth could do was nod an exasperated ‘yes’, her flaxen hair thrashing with the jerky and sudden movement.

Holding his hands fanned out as if he were looking to grasp something tangible that was important to assist within the moment, Jack stated aloud with angst and frenzy.

“I’m off t’ fetch the _midwife_ then?”

Looking over to the side of the room as if she was having a side bar with an invisible witness to this unbelievable travesty, Elizabeth gawped again with pain, looked up at Jack with a piercing glare and once more nodded an overly done nodding of a ‘yes’.

Jack took a deep breath, stood there with lips taut and not breathing until he then muttered,

“Right…I’m off… _you_ ….y’ _stay ‘ere_ , then―”

Elizabeth glared up at Jack with wide amber eyes as if mentally chastising him with a silent ‘Do I _look_ like I am going _anywhere’_ , not understanding what the hell happened to her ready-set-go Captain Sparrow who was a main stay of decision and command of powerful reasoning when in the face of a tempest, or presented a readied sword in hand with a formidable monster. But suddenly, Jack Sparrow was a blathering, quaking bundle of nerves, a simpleton who seemed to have absolutely no clue whatsoever as what to do!

Jack dashed over to slip on his britches and hastily tug on his shirt, coat and effects. Having no time for toiling about with obstinate boots, Jack tore out of the bedroom leaving the door wide opened and then stood there in the hallway―baffled. He turned around to glance back into the room at Elizabeth and inquired with a rush of angst and panic,

“Uh…which way…d’ I go…'tis it that way or this, luv?”

Unable to hold back any longer from the excruciating pain, Elizabeth let out a horrific scream and doubled over, as she managed to stick out her arm and was pointing for Jack to depart to the right and down the hall. The sight of her screeching and the impact of her outrageous scream of intense anguish, Jack’s orbs grew to the size of saucers. Seeing how much torment she was in, Jack was reluctant to abandon the scene, virtually leaving her alone in this shocking state. Starting to waiver back and forth in the hall and looking for an able bodied person to appear so they could assist and help out; at the moment Jack’s wavering of making a firm decision either way, had him winding up dashing down the hall…..in the wrong direction! Somehow as he had galloped off not knowing where the hell he was going.

Jack was re-entering the bedroom, drifting aimlessly moments later without even realizing it. His breathing almost as frantic as Elizabeth’s, Jack was torn as to what to do in this crisis, the only thing he did know is that he did not want to leave her. Watching Elizabeth wailing again as she was panting and screeching at the same time, Jack found his breathing was as shallow and rapid as hers, unconsciously mirroring what he was witnessing and inadvertently becoming dizzy from the hyperventilation.

“Mebbe I should stay on jus’ a trifle longer, eh? I can’t jus’ _leave_ y’ like this, luv…I―I cannot do it―leavin’ y’ in yer great time of _need_ , then!”

As Jack choked out the words through his obvious terror over observing what was happening to her, Elizabeth picked up a candelabrum from the night stand and hurled it at Jack’s head. Luckily for his lightning like dodge, it missed his skull, but clearly made the point as Jack backed up and wound up back out into the main corridor again with a new sense of purpose.

“Right, _got it_ …I go an’ fetch the midwife…I’m _off_ , straight ‘way…I’m goin’ right _now_.” Jack stammered as he was a bit taken back by Elizabeth’s glowering eyes following as he continued to inch backwards.

As Jack kept talking and lingering, he was going absolutely nowhere as he could not peel his orbs off of his sweetheart, as she was doubled over while struggling for breath. Too panicked and indecisive as to what he should do, Jack actually meandered haphazardly back in the middle of the hall standing there, eyes focused into the bedroom and watching in shock stricken awe the scene unfolding within.

As Jack fidgeted and loitered in the passageway, Elizabeth groaned and suddenly there was a show of fluid mixed with a bit of blood that came forth from under her gown. Jack stood there, his mouth grimacing as his black orbs widened in complete and utter horror as to what he had just witnessed. Jack did not even breathe he was so smitten with anxiety over what he’d just seen and how it had made him feel.

Elizabeth sat there, trying to deal with the pain and her own fear, her fingers turning yellow and knuckles white as she gripped the edge of the mattress for a stronghold or focus. She was so out of breath from panting and retching, it was nearly impossible to form any words for her wavering spouse. The only communication that she could emit came out in the form of grunts. That was the only human sounds that seemed to come forth when she attempted speech. Nearly swallowing her own tongue in the attempt, Elizabeth tried once more to get a message through to Jack; that he simply could not just stand there and gawk at her! She needed a midwife to help her and needed it _quickly_. The pains had escalated to happening within moments of each other, and that meant birth was imminent, a new baby was going to be born very soon.

Jack’s paranoia and panic quickly escalated to an all new high as the all horrific and real events taking place right before his eyes were too graphically ghastly to even watch―yet a transfixed Sparrow could not tear himself away from Elizabeth for fear of leaving her alone in this horrendous predicament…especially knowing what was about to occur. Jack stood there between the bedroom and hallway, actually inside of the door jamb, torn with indecision as to what he should do or which way to go. The only thing he could do was plant himself there in horror as he witnessed the imminent birth of his first child, which was going to happen right before his eyes.

“J…Ja….Jack…” Elizabeth finally managed to grunt out his name.

“Aye!”

Jack responded immediately to her side, but another contraction hit too suddenly and once more Elizabeth was riding the wave of pain, reaching out and gripping hold of his vest, nearly pulling him onto the floor! Jack held fast as Elizabeth jerked at his clothing, all the while screaming bloody murder. Jack was virtually going deaf from her shrieks, but managed to steady himself from falling down and tried to communicate with Elizabeth as she was rending his clothes!

“Right….hold on then, luv…..lots of _pain_ then, 'tis it?”

Elizabeth could not answer and Jack watched as once more her jaw dropped and she began to pant like an overly brewed and steaming tea pot, ready to boil over. The present scream was just as shrill as the last readied tea pot. Jack winced as he observed her visage; the enormity of pain must have been excruciating. Jack had never seen anybody in that much anguish and had been privy to seeing limbs sawed off during bad battles with the injured strewn about and dying. Nothing was ever this horrific to Jack Sparrow’s eyes panning his Elizabeth’s facade.

Elizabeth still had a death grip on the sleeve of his shirt, clutching onto it with a madness glowering within her wide eyes. She stared at Jack, and to his estimation it appeared as if she was trying to tell him something.

“What…what 'tis it darlin'…tell me what y’ _need_ then…what can I do fer ya?” a frantic Jack had asked Elizabeth in earnest to make a valiant attempt of being all present for her in any way he could manage.

Still hanging onto Jack’s shirt sleeve, Elizabeth tugged on it as if it contained a symbolic meaning. She was glancing down at the next stream of fluid that was trickling down her inner leg. Jack’s gaze followed hers and he saw the same stream emanating from her body. His black eyes shot open even wider if that was at all possible. The fear was locked into his visage of terror as the imaginings within his mind took over. This was really the moment when he should have been the stellar operator as he was. What better way to help, by putting on the charm and utilize those Sparrow witticisms to entertain and preoccupy her....just when Elizabeth was in dire need of a diversionary tactic to avoid this ominous pain. Where was that daunting and debonair captain now? Right now, he was cowering at the sight of a bit of blood and trepidation had literally frozen his appendages into a stationary statue.

“Get _help_ …” Elizabeth managed to muster up through gritted teeth, as she felt the beginning of yet another powerful contraction.

Jack nodded, his black kohl-lined eyes scaled into larger orbs than imaginable as he tried to stand erect, but Elizabeth had not released his shirt and was literally hanging off of him by use of a death grip.

“Right…I shall…uh…le’me _go_ , luv…I―”

That was when Elizabeth burst into another even louder scream that nearly blew away Sparrow's ear drums. Jack managed to tear himself free from her clutches and started to back up and away from her; all the while he never stopped staring at Elizabeth. There she was, bent over again, as far as that tremendous belly would allow, howling so loud Jack nearly started to scream with her. His alarmed voice scaled three octaves up as his onyx eyes shot open even wider, dashing back and forth in the hall as he was in a quandary―what to do next? Stopping the running in place for just a second, Jack realized through his mental fog of fear that this procedure was getting him absolutely _nowhere_. Holding up a halting hand and stilling his breath unable to speak. Jack grabbed onto the door jamb to ballast himself from dizziness due from his hyperventilating! When Jack finally was able to talk, holding up a reassuring hand he used his voice which spilled out a string of surging, nerve wracking passages in gasps.

“OH…OH…" Jack nearly doubled over in a sudden stab of pain in his abdomen which caught him off guard, “I’m goin’ now darlin’…not t’ worry, eh? After all Lizzie, I _am_   Cap'in Jack Sparrow an’ I―”

When the other candelabra sailed past Jack’s head like a speeding bullet, had deflected off the wall and fell with a loud clatter next to him―Jack finally picked up the indication that things were _not_ going so well. Elizabeth was glaring at him as if she were going to tear Jack into shreds with her bare hands if he did not get himself together and do what had to be done―what they had practiced to do for weeks so far―and he’d better do it _soon_.

Jack took off and began running down the hall to fetch the midwife, clad in just his loosely thrown on clothes and clacking effects dragging on the floor. Sparrow was pulling on one coat sleeve as he ran through the hallways. A mad dash around the blind corner of the corridor and Jack wound up bumping straight into Gibbs. Clinging onto this first mate for balance, Jack stammered out what was going on; he was to send for help―the Royal Navy it was―to be his _exact_ interpretation! However, at times like this and Jack out of sorts (as well as being out of his boots) it was like having a raving mad lunatic on the loose. Giving Sparrow the mission to find the right facilitate, who actually _did_ expect Jack Sparrow to get this task totally right anyway? The man was a jumbled ball of nerves!

Finally able to seek out the correct selection of women which actually _were_ midwives―instead gathering up a cook, seamstress or barmaid―Jack had scurried them all back to the room with all the other women he gathered who were willing to assist. The crazed and panicked pirate on this desperate mission gathered every female he could find! Jack was now positioned outside of their new found residence and bedroom, standing about in those same breeches and half buttoned waist coat attempting to keep himself amused by finishing getting dressed. Jack was trying to muster up a spirit of excitement about the birth of his little boy―which seemed to be taking forever to arrive in this world. His child was delaying its appearance all of the sudden and this fact was not particularly doing much for Jack’s more than rattled nerves either. He was biting his fingernails, pacing about the living quarters, endlessly talking to himself, and pretty much ignored poor Gibbs and a few other crew members which were privy to the main event. As Jack was in the middle of conjuring up another means of oratory reprimand to himself for ultimately having done this ghastly deed to Elizabeth, he stopped short in his tracks. When Jack looked up he physically balked in place for he suddenly spotted Teague. His father was briskly pedaling his way down the long corridor towards them.

“Oh _bugger_ ―”

As Teague got closer, a pleased smile formed upon his leathery face with the prospect of seeing Jack there. Greeting his son in a boisterous bellow of joy, Teague announced to Jack,

“Rumor has it that my son’s been seen running around the corridors without his boots…” and then added as he glanced down to Jack's bare feet, “Are you drinkin’ more rum again than you should?” Teague sneered at Sparrow who looked like something the cat had just dragged in.

Jack turned around, glanced over at the closed door and heard another moan echo through the wooden wall. Obviously she was still racked with pain and those telltale sounds were emitted from Elizabeth’s mouth. Sparrow’s eyes squinted as his facade crunched up into a wince in reaction. He was unable to respond right away to Teague, for the wave of guilt had washed over him once more. Staring at the door that separated him from his beloved Elizabeth, Jack felt ill as he responded to his father’s inquiry.

“Unfortunately, there 'tisn’t _'nough_ rum to drown out _that_ , then. S’ the answer to yer query 'tis no…I’m _not pissed_. Elizabeth has gone into _labor_ , then.”

Teague chewed on the end of his pipe not too apologetically, then gave a listen to the awful howls.

“How long has this been goin’ on, eh?”

Jack was not really interested in this conversation as his pacing seemed to indicate, not glancing over to where his father stood.

“Not too long―jus’ ’ow long d’ these thin’s bloody well _take_ …" Jack asked in retrospect, still pacing and occasionally glancing at the closed portal, “Those _awful_ sounds comin’ outa that room…I don’t rightly know what t’ do 'bout all this…I can’t lose ‘er now–just _can’t_.”

With all of Jack’s fretting being aired in this impromptu confession of sorts, he started to lope back and forth with a frenzied pace. Clearly panic had overtaken Sparrow's senses. He was afraid that all this time dreadful happenings were going on inside that bedroom. His dark eyes were glaring at the door as if he wanted to peer through it. Jack shook his head in angst as he wanted to know what was making Elizabeth sound so awful. He had _never_ heard sounds like this in his entire life. Teague was touched by his son’s candid attitude and show of vulnerability. Surely Jack must have been incredibly frightened to talk as agreeably as he had―especially confiding his heart to his father in this fashion. Teague was moved and also wanted to help Jack get through this angst. As a first time father and new to the birth process, Jack was at a loss. In spite of how clever Jack Sparrow was in handling what hurdles life had to offer him, when it came to his sensitive heart Teague saw the flaws. It was too raw of an emotion for his son to handle without guidance. Teague was about to offer Jack some sage advice when a particularly horrid and shrill scream from Elizabeth echoed from the room. Instantly Jack whipped around and froze, his eyes wincing in sympathetic anguish, holding his own gut for the stab of sympathy pains which attacked him. Jack could only imagine what was going on in there amid her screams and the midwifes’ yelling instructions at her. Pert and at attention, Jack was tuned-in to the screeching going on inside and was shirking in horror.

“Oh no, no…no… _NOT good―_ I can’t _do_ this―” Jack winced, hearing the squalls within and erupted into a whole new swell of panic.

Teague cocked his head, his black eyes honing in on Jack who appeared as if he were going to run and hide under a table.

“Do _what_ , boy? I should think the _only_ matter to be done had already been handled by _you_ as it 'tis…” Teague jested as a few among the company chuckled at the insinuation.

Jack was almost unable to catch his breath, hyperventilating as he paced back and forth. The long braids of his dark hair whipped in the air as his head snapped, facing the door thinking of an exit out of there when suddenly Elizabeth screamed out in utter agony once more.

“I can’t do _t h i s_ , stand ‘ere like a bloody twit an’ jus’ listen t’ the torture she’s goin’ through! It’s all m’ fault…I’d swived ‘er _senseless_ …day an’ night t’ get ‘er this way! An look― _look_ what I’ve done to 'er? This is killin’ her!”

A gut wrenching moan resonated from inside and Jack was done for; flustered and looking to bolt for the exit once more in a desperate attempt, Sparrow was ready to flee the scene.

“Right, _I can’t do this_ ―I’m off.”

“Yer not to go anywhere―an’ _she’s_ doin’ all the doin’!”

Jack looked at Teague’s aged facade as he watched Jack pacing, wringing his hands and suffering all the torments of hell while listening to Elizabeth on the other side of the door. Finally catching his father’s gawk, Jack turned defensive and and adopted a sinister tone as he snapped at him.

“Oh, so let’s ‘ave it, then. Tell me…how am I a wretched n’ bad lot, then! I know yer _thinkin’_ it, eh?”

Jack blazed fireball eyes at his father with the utmost inner rage he could muster. He was incensed that his father had absolutely no idea the private hell he was currently in. Listening to Elizabeth’s screams and standing there doing absolutely nothing at all to aide her. This was eating Jack’s insides out, but now here came this heartless bastard to poke fun at his weaknesses as well.

“Now, what?” Teague asked with a raised brow of curiosity, wondering why Jack had turned on him out of frustration and was looking to cross verbal swords.

Jack built himself into quite a frenzy, dashing about from one end of the hallway to the other, arms flouncing; his gestures getting more animated as the flailing arms were angled to create larger and bigger sweeps. Sparrow's anxiety mounted with his confrontation towards a very confounded Teague.

“Whatever it ‘tis you’ve got t’ say ‘bout me…c’mon… _out_ wif it. Shatter me wif some other profound notion of yers as t’ my bein’ completely an’ totally out of me mind right now. I can’t ‘elp it, I’m in love wif ‘er an’ I _care_ ‘bout what’s 'appenin’ t’ ‘er in there…I’m…I’m… _s e n s i t i v e,_ alright!?” Jack shouted out in dissent.

After Jack’s histrionic comeback, Teague stood there dead still. He was staring blankly as his son's outburst and was shocked. Obviously Jack was having an emotional and mental meltdown right there before his very eyes. Jack gulped having realized he just went off on his father, and did it right in front of all the other pirates who were in the hall waiting with him. Jack went momentarily catatonic, standing there in a rigid position while fashionably waiting for Teague to pull out his pistol and beat him over the head with it. Much to everyone’s surprise, Teague smiled a bit. It was the kind of smile that comes with a great deal of wisdom. He seemed more amused over Jack’s wild ravings than insulted, and the entire room seemed to breathe a bit easier when they too saw the man was more entertained than incensed by his son’s neurotic ramblings. It was expected, knowing Jack the way he did, and how much he loved Elizabeth.

“I’ve nothin’ t’ say.” Teague’s deep voice rumbled, his answer mingling with a tint of humor in it.

Jack heard Teague say that out loud and was finding this very hard to fathom. Jack stood there, his onyx black eyes staring at his father with complete and utter surprise. Jack’s arms fell at his sides, exasperated as he leaned forward, getting up into his father’s face.

“Y’ don’t. An’ why am I ‘avin trouble wrapin’ m’ brain ‘round _that_ , then?” Jack challenged with an evil, narrow-eyed peer.

“I went through the same thin’ when you were born.”

Teague’s low rumble in this very profound and natural response seemed sincere as his wise smile broadened over Jack’s countenance of bewilderment. Jack stood there in utter amazement for not anticipating such a sentimental statement about his father’s angst over his own birth. His lips slightly taunt and unable to respond. Once more Jack had mangled his own father’s expression of feelings for him and his intentions. Finally, after blinking a bit, Jack managed to mutter out a meek response of a much quieter retort of,

“Y’ did?”

“Yes, _bloody_ bastard that I’d be in yer eyes…but aye, I loved ye none th’ less.”

Jack’s lips twitched in pensive thought, moved by what his father had just confessed. They were about to have a ‘moment’ but for the god-awful groan and then horrible scream that echoed from the bedroom. The words of one of the midwives screaming at Elizabeth to push. Jack felt dizzy and held himself up by leaning an extended arm upon the wall, his raven dreadlocks swaying in front of his face swaying in a back and forth sweep. Just then, Jack happened to look up and off to the side and there, lumbering down the hall was Captain Hector Barbossa. Sparrow became exasperated for now his display of utter angst and upset was swiftly becoming the best show in Shipwreck Cove! Jack glanced up to the ceiling in despair and shook his head, long raven braids swaying the other way now as he lamented aloud to himself,

“That’s jus’ fine! 'Tis _nothin’_ sacred in this bloody place? Is this birth t’ be a bloody _public event_  n’ m’ wife’s sufferin’s t’ be heard by all, is it? Why not set up a keg o’ rum out ‘ere an’ _sell tickets_ whilst yer at it, eh?”

Barbossa took one glance at Jack’s raving words of insanity, gazing at Sparrow as if that was exactly what he expected of him. Hector side-stepped past the frazzled Jack in the middle of his tirade and greeted all. Meanwhile, poor Jack continued to mutter to himself and resume his vigil of pacing back and forth in his bare feet. Barbossa took in the ridiculous sight of what was a melting and frazzled Jack Sparrow, glanced over to Teague with wonderment, and then stated with a boisterous holler of annoyance that only he possessed,

“What _ails_ ‘im?”

Pintel, ever the one to get involved and open his big mouth inappropriately―especially when he shouldn’t, blurted out the answer with an exuberant and robust yell he was the first to reply.

“’e’s … _s e n s i t i v e_.” Pintel shouted out the most obvious answer to him at all who gathered to witness this mayhem.

Barbossa stared at Jack’s soured puss. Sparrow was just standing there shaking his head and utterly mortified while enduring the most recent wave of humiliation he was now being subjected to―being reduced to a pillar of salt in a matter of just two measly seconds. Jack was not sure how long he could cope―not only what was going on inside the bedroom―now this absolute circle of embarrassment. This caused him to shirk from nearly every major male pirate that was present and knew his name. Not only that, but what used to be his stellar reputation as a stand up man and fearsome Pirate Lord of the Caribbean―All shot to hell as Sparrow was witness to being a quivering mental mess right before their eyes!

“Aye.” Jack responded in a one word, stoic retort.

At this stage Jack was clearly unwilling to engage the man in conversation or to begin a debate with anyone right now. In lieu of what was happening to him, how his life was crumbling before everyone’s eyes. In his present state of rebellion, Jack decided that he had far too many thoughts swirling in his head. Sparrow could only focus on the terrible scenario that must be taking place on the other side of that ominous door.

“Jackie,” Teague announced while clearing his throat, but Jack did not react to the warm gesture.

Teague saw the way Jack was withdrawing and so now he altered course and spoke somewhat solemnly. He was attempting to draw Jack into any type of conversation if merely to keep the man preoccupied just long enough from going full tilt over the rainbow with worry.

“Tell Barbossa what’s goin’ on this evenin’ and _why_ you’re standin’ about in yer bare feet. Perhaps _that_ might be a good idea t’ start, eh?”

The wiser man spoke his words carefully after standing in silence behind Jack for a moment.

“Aye,” Barbossa bellowed as he crossed his arms across one another over his chest, lifted his head up and waited in expectation to hear the details from Jack himself, “So what manner of gatherin’ be this…'tis it what I’d hoped, then?”

Jack was silent until he remembered he’d not had the chance to put his boots on and was still in fact just standing about in his bare feet. All in all, Jack was aware of the double meaning of his father’s comment and remarked in a vapid tone as he stared at the door.

“Would you regret it much if I preferred _not_ to explain?” but as Jack said that, he pulled out of the internal tail spin for a few seconds to think a bit.

Jack tugged himself in a mental aside just for one moment, realizing how harsh he had been to his father. Wanting to make amends for handling him with such carelessness, he wanted to use a more friendly approach. Sparrow smirked as he shot an inside glace to Teague, but noted his father had not countered that thoughtful gesture with a warm response. Feeling that a complete engagement with his father and no less was needed, Jack knew he had to be sincere with him. Jack heaved a heavy sigh, turned around and looked to all accounted for and then exchanged his sardonic tone for a more amiable one, done for his father’s sake,

“No. I would ‘ave thought y’d 'ave heard-tell the stories of m’ sordid life b’ now…runnin’ half naked in all parts of t’ world…they’ve seen more of m’ nether regions than mos’ I should imagine.”

Everyone laughed at Jack’s humorous comment as he donned the fool role, one which he could only fold into for a microsecond to lighten the heavy atmosphere stemming from his conflict with Teague. Elizabeth had been howling on the other side of the door and no matter how loud the pirates in the hall chatted, or the din which grew from their interaction―her screams were the most piercing sound that Jack was intently aware. Sparrow could not shut her howls out. Even Barbossa attempted to engage Jack in menial discourse, but it was no use. The man was clearly a total wreck. Jack stood there facing the door and the fingers of his hand flexed; he was dying to reach up and place them upon that door knob.

Jack, whose attention was solely on the noise factor within the room, suddenly jerked his head up. He was realizing that there was too long of a silence inside the bedroom―not a sound. The silence was almost more deafening and oppressive than the unending wailing screams from Elizabeth. Unable to withstand the suspense, he shot over to the door and leaned his head up against it. Jack tried very hard to discern what was going on in there, only discerning low rumblings. He listened to the door and tried to decipher what was going on inside and what the midwives were saying amongst themselves.

Teague had been watching Jack’s moves closely and felt this was not a good idea for several reasons. With a few brisk steps, Teague reached his long arm out, grasped Jack by the scruff of his neck and waistcoat; with a firm tug he jerked his son clear from the door with a heavy jolt. Jack stared at his father in awe of how powerful his father still was. Teague shook his head in a calm reprimand over his wayward son, his low rumbling voice not needing any volume to represent the impression implied.

“ _No_ …what Lizzie’s doin in there…it’s _private_ like. If they’d be needin’ you fer anythin’, here you’d be―let it _alone_ , Jackie.”

Before anything else could be said or done, all of the pirates in the room hearkened to the bedroom door, for just as Jack was about to reply, it creaked loudly and sprung open. There in the portal, one of the midwives appeared poking out her head. She was glancing about the room overlooking all in attendance and then spoke softly,

“Captain Sparrow?”

With that simple address, Jack’s head snapped to attention and his obsidian eyes flew open…the underlying terror just seconds away from making Jack Sparrow a complete and raving mad man. He did not know what to expect or why it was so quiet inside. Surely somebody died and he was not prepared to be the recipient of this dire announcement. Jack looked around the room at all the other pirates who stood in a semicircle of apprehension, waiting for Jack to respond and announce his being present. They too were certainly anxious and needed Jack to answer so they too could hear the outcome. As is stood, nobody knew what was going on with Elizabeth, their Pirate King. Standing up as erect as he could manage before keeling over and passing out, Jack inched over to the old midwife and responded with hardly any volume to his lexis,

“Ahem…yes….mmm…that ‘twould b’, ummm… _me_ , then―”

The woman looked Jack up and down as if it were an appraising once over, to which Jack’s irritated scowl formed. He was wondering ' _what the bloody hell is she lookin’ for?_ ’ Then the woman glanced about to the other burly, motley looking bunch of scalawag pirates that were evidently awaiting to hear the same news. Finally ending Jack’s torment, the portly woman gave a half laugh, recognized who was who, and suddenly reached her hand out and playfully tapped Jack in the belly. It was maybe a little bit too hard of a tap in Sparrow's already aching belly that it nearly caused him to belch―but he caught his air with a gulp to the last and held fast.

“You may come in an’ meet yer son.”

With that statement Jack released his held breath and began to breathe. His chest shuddered to life as it filled with much needed air and exhaled with a vast sigh. Sparrow then he turned to howling crew of pirates behind him, now all cheering along with Gibbs leading them. Jack held up his hand and instantly a wave of confidence sailed into him as a silver and gold beam adhered to his cocky swagger towards them.

“Aye! I _knew_ it! I told ‘er it ‘twould b’ a boy…knew it that very mornin’ whilst I made ‘im, I did…oh―”

Realizing he had become a bit _too_ overzealous and was divulging a tad more information than necessary, Jack roped himself back. Obtaining more humility within his tenor, Sparrow then added a more appropriate nod of pride to the blushing first mate. Gibbs was elated, his burly cherry hued face smiling as  he nodded to his captain's victory. Jack then turned to his father and walked over to him; instantly they both broke out in laughter. One reacted of great relief and release of stress, and the other from the absence of tension which had mounted distance between them―it was gone. Patting his dad on the back Jack said as he mused,

“An’ y’ve a grandson now, I jus’ hope the lit'le bugger doesn’t drive y’ as _mad_ as I did, eh?”

With that Jack turned around to peer over his shoulder and cast an eye over to the portal which would usher him into fatherhood. Sparrow walked forward to the opened door and sheepishly stepped into the bedroom to meet littlest Sparrow for the first time. With trepidation in his obsidian eyes, Jack poked his head into their sleeping chambers first; cloaked with nervous excitement. Jack was not certain what he was going to find, especially after hearing Elizabeth screaming so much. Jack was convinced she’d be half dead and blood would be from one end of the chamber to the next. As Jack entered with one more small step after the other, his scared eyes instantly landed upon the vision. Elizabeth was laying in the bed propped up on pillows. All she could offer was a tired smile. As he fully entered the room, Jack softly closed the door behind him and stood there with uncertainty. He was not sure what to do next. Jack was so drained of emotions from all the fear, so right now he was waiting to pick up a clue from Elizabeth. Watching his sluggish entry, Elizabeth recognized Jack's trepidation; guessed by his gingerly approach.

“Would you like to meet your son?” Elizabeth’s voice barely held back the tears; she’d waited so long to say that to him.

“Aye.” Jack answered as he thought to step closer, but realized he remained stuck where he initially stood; Sparrow's bare feet were pasted on the floor where he was, instinctively too scared to budge.

Jack wanted to quickly run over to the bed and be by Elizabeth’s side and peer into the curious bundle in her arms. However, he was still pasted to the very spot he was in and could not shift either way. The older midwife took the bundle from Elizabeth’s arms, carefully cradled it, and brought it over to Jack. Watching her approach, his stare was mesmerizing, focused entirely on the small baby within the blanket. Jack made a few cautious steps to meet the midwife, as if he were afraid his presence was somehow going to unsettle the baby. Elizabeth was humored as she watched Jack glide over to the side of the midwife, leaned over from above her left shoulder to peek down at his baby boy. Jack’s face instantly lit up as he gasped at how beautiful the tiny baby was, the sight of what was hidden within Elizabeth for so long, was now here. Jack actually gasped for it took his breath away.

Jack gazed down and was stunned as to how to handle the bundle when the midwife offered it to him. Sparrow was terrified as the midwife reached over and handed over the tiny child to his arms. Fearful as he was, Jack found himself reaching out for the baby and automatically grasping it with gentle hands. Once it was in his arms, Jack noted that the infant hardly had any weight to him. Red and puffy looking, Jack made a face at the baby, but heard only Elizabeth chuckling in reaction. Remembering she was still in the room, Jack slowly sashayed over to the bed, all the while gazing down at his baby within his arms. When Jack reached the bed he glimpsed at what appeared to be an exhausted Elizabeth. Jack leaned down carefully and kissed her lips softly. He was so worried about her; Jack had to make sure first that she would be okay for him to sit down upon the bed next to her before going any further.

“How’s his mum doin’…are y’ alright, luv?”

“I am tired, but I shall be just fine, Jack.”

Elizabeth kissed Jack as he leaned into her for another kiss. As they parted, Elizabeth then glanced over at the baby cradled within Jack’s arms―those strong arms that so many times over had offered her comfort. Jack just sat there staring down at the stilled baby for a moment or two before shifting closer to Elizabeth on the bed. He could scarcely believe that this was the product of that very morning he so thoughtfully planned out it’s conception…it was surreal for Jack. He stared down at the little bundle in his hands and could feel his radiant warmth within the blanket.

“I’ve got me own little pirate.” Sparrow mused with a crooked grin, appearing like a small lad with a wondrous toy.

Elizabeth gently kissed the baby’s head and reached over to touch Jack’s hand, waking him from his meditative daze and added,

“…and what are you thinking about Jack; do you imagine that being a father might be fun after all?”

“He looks jus’ like you, then…he’s beautiful, Lizzie.”

As he sat there staring at the child for what seemed only moments. Jack silently watched as he carefully gave the tiny child back to his mother, who needed to train the hungry newborn how to feed.

“I think ‘e ‘as yer eyes,” Jack suggested to Elizabeth as he studied the tiny little hands, fisted into little balls and small shiny pink fingernails.

Jack was thoroughly fascinated with the bitty baby and how tiny he was. Sparrow ran his index finger across the soft as silk cheek. He pondered aloud as he thought of his prior turmoil of waiting was far from 'fun' as Elizabeth intimated,

“―Mos’ definitely he’s got yer propensity t’ drive m’ _witless_ wif fear―that I’ll give ‘im fer _certain_. Can’t say ‘ow many times I nearly came undone wif all this―yer bouts of illness t’ get t’ this place…finally…” Jack ended with a sigh of relief, peeking out from under his curtain of dreadlocks, half covering his visage.

Elizabeth smiled up at Jack as she began to withdraw the robe to the side and anchor the baby within her arms to prepare feeding him,

“I think ‘e’s perfect, luv…trifle small, that….”

"Well he is only a _few minutes old_ Jack, do give him a chance!” she humorously retorted.

Jack pressed a kiss to Elizabeth’s forehead and traipsed his palm from her forehead to a cheek, in total adoration of her. His onyx eyes caressed Elizabeth, wondering if she was truly okay. The sounds of wailing and screams emanating from this very room had curdled Jack’s blood several times and so he was greatly concerned about her now. Sparrow watched Elizabeth very carefully to make sure all was well until he could totally relax. Suddenly catching sight of the infant hungrily suckling away at Elizabeth’s breast, Jack sprouted an evil grin and added with an influx of sexual charisma,

“Oh―well, _that_ ‘e got from me, then.”

As crude a joke as it was, Elizabeth had to giggle at the expression of awe on Jack’s façade as he studied the baby hungrily sucking away like crazy. Some of the missed milk was now dribbling down the side of her breast. Lips taunt and head cocked to the side in study of the infant feeding at her breast, Jack then ruefully added with a provisioned observation,

“No doubt his technique 'tis a trifle _iffy_ , but 'es got time t’ work on that, an’ with _me_ as coach in no time he’ll be―”

" _Jack_!”

Jack caught the oblique and lethal stare of caution he was receiving from Elizabeth, realizing he had gone too far. Jack bit his lower lip, darted his guilty eyes from the baby’s suckling, right up to Elizabeth glare. Grinning, Jack then raised his brows in recognition of his offence. He took a deep breath and then offered a rather meek retreat,

“…oh, right. Got it―gone over the top a bit, ‘ave I?”

“Yes, you _have_.” Elizabeth replied sternly as she rolled her eyes giving Jack 'the look.’

Eyebrows lifting in the throes of being chastised, Jack then altered course while the going was good. Bobbing his head towards the door indicating where the other gathering pirates were, indicating that they were all still together and celebrating, Jack’s kohl lined eyes widened a bit for effect as he made the suggestion,

“Me father’s outside if y’ care to entertain the notion fer introductions. I’d b’ perfectly content t’ send ‘im ‘way. Y’ might want t’ tear the tyke from yer―well, don’t make m’ say it, alright. I’ve already gone over the top in jus’ five minutes. I expect the rest o’ me life I’m t’ be racked whilst bringin’ up a male Sparrow in the world…takes some doin’ luv…sorry.”

“Jack….”

Elizabeth tried to be serious in her tone but he was just too comical in his mental ramblings…undoubtedly the wit was a much needed release from all the stress she assumed Jack had endured as well, but then Elizabeth asserted to him,

“Bring Teague in. I would very much like to introduce him to his grandchild.”

“Aye,” Jack sort of grumbled.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead before heading off to fetch his father. Jack opened the door and peered out and spotted Teague, who was standing against the rail outside looking over the cove. Jack cleared his throat before he spoke,

“Captain Teague, the Pirate King requests yer presence, then.”

Quickly pulling Teague aside before entering the bedroom, Jack whispered into his father’s ear,

“B’fore y’ go in…I jus’ ‘ad t’ tell y’ out ere… _not_ t’ worry, ‘es inherited the Sparrow _family jewels_ ―hung like a bloody _horse_ , eh?”

Teague and then Jack burst into riotous laughter together while ceremoniously huddled in private intrigue; taking them several minutes to contain themselves before Teague could stop laughing and then replied to Jack,

“Aye, _now_ if the lad’s brains get t’ be bigger than 'is balls―then ‘e _will_   have one up on his ol’ dad fer certain!”

Jack laughed heartily, nearly falling into his father as they both went on inside. It was only _then_ did Jack suddenly realize his father had just insulted him! Standing there with a pout plastered upon his face, Jack Sparrow swiftly shuffled inside to catch up to Teague, for all were ready to regale the newest Sparrow into the world.

 

~~~~~~~~~~FINIS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


End file.
